Rolled Over

I guess I am not one to judge others, and therefor i don't. Although that doesn't mean i dont have a theory behind why people are the way they are. After all, I am my own person, with my own thoughts, my own feelings. I never realized how lonely i really am. I pretty much feel like i have lost all my friends. Even the ones i have now, seem to be only scrapping the surface, its more of a here and now thing, than a personal what you have missed thing. I know people grow, and people change, but does that really give friends an excuse to treat you like your just a somebody?

The other day when i was driving back from our trip from Pittsburgh, i asked for the music to be shut off and for us to just converse. The response? "What is there to talk about, there is nothing to talk about!?" Yeah you bet i was pretty pissed off, but hell I decided if that was the case i would just talk about my self, so i told them about moving and school and my personal life with my wonderful Boyfriend. When i became mute, so did the car, so obviously that didn't work.

I just don't understand how someone who claims to be your best friend has such a hard time speaking their mind. I'm convinced that no matter how hard i try to re build the whole thing the more it will back fire. I wonder why i really care so much about these people that treat me like shit. I think its the worst feeling ever when your "friends" keep petty shit from you. Funny thing is, if they told me about their lives i probably wouldn't be so quick to judge them, but laying out a puzzle I have never seen before and asking me to find the pieces, is just going to keep me trying to guess what the big picture is.